Wrong Scientific Study Says to Stop Hugging Your Dog

A big fat liar is trying to tell you to not be happy. Professor of Spouting Nonsense, Stanley Coren, did a study, via the website Psychology Today, and he wants you to believe that hugging your dog raises its anxiety levels. He said, “It is been generally accepted by anyone that studies anti-dog bite behaviours that hugging a dog is a bad thing. In fact, when a children’s book came out saying that you should hug the dog all the time, the American Veterinarian Society actually put out a formal statement and said don’t buy the book because your child will get bit. If you want to express your affection to your dog, you’re better off patting them or giving them a kind word or a treat,”

Global News explains the steps Coren took for his study,“Coren selected 250 photos randomly of people hugging their dogs from Google Image Search and Flickr.” And The Telegraph summarized the results, “Dr Coren found that in 81.6 per cent of the photographs the dogs had at least one sign of discomfort, stress, or anxiety. Only 7.6 per cent of the photographs showed comfortable dogs whilst the remaining 10.8 per cent were either neutral or ambiguous.”

Coren concluded that, “Dogs are technically cursorial animals, which is a term that indicates that they are designed for swift running. That implies that in times of stress or threat the first line of defence that a dog uses is not his teeth, but rather his ability to run away. Behaviorists believe that depriving a dog of that course of action by immobilising him with a hug can increase his stress level and, if the dog’s anxiety becomes significantly intense, he may bite.”

It’s been alleged that Stanley Coren is actually an evil scientist who wishes to hoard the world’s supply of dog hugs for himself. Please hug your dogs in protest of these lies.