Crows Have Turned Violent Because Humans Closed Their McDonald's

The closing of a McDonald’s in Hull, England, caused the crows in the area to turn violent. The residents are saying that the crows are hangry because they no longer get scraps of fries and delicious McNuggets. We assume this means that the hangry murder of crows are coming to extinguish the human species unless they get their McDonald’s fix.

As Yahoo reports, “Business owner Paul Rymer found a dead pigeon that had been attacked by a group of violent crows outside his premises at Kingston Retail Park.”

He told them, “We came into work one morning to find a pigeon all mangled and being pecked at by two crows. They were both standing over it and we obviously scared them away. When you get something like McDonald’s shutting for a few weeks it’s what happens.”

Someone get these crows a damn Big Mac.